In the land of boyfriends, girlfriends, partners, and relationships there seems to be a few blurred lines. Loving beyond boundaries is one of them. One that has sprung to mind is the difference between control and protection. At the same time, most people often get sidetracked when they fall in love so sometimes trying to tell the difference in a relationship of the others intentions. These are proven to be difficult.
A difference between someone who is trying to control you and one who wants to protect you are:
- Control isn’t about freedom. It’s about keeping bird in a cage and trying to stop it flying.
- Is treating a loved one as if they have no rights and they are in charge of them.
- Authority over one in order to give oneself the boost by having someone beneath them.
- Trying to physically stop you doing things you enjoy doing
- Or mentally have you believed that who you are is wrong and that in order for you to be a better person, you need to be lead by them.
- Makes you feel bad about your being and your choices.
- Protection is always having your best interests at heart.
- It’s about wanting to be the wind beneath your wings in order to keep you strong.
- Being accepting of your choices, advising you, rather than telling you what to do.
- Its freedom with loving assistance.
The increase of self love is on the rise. But whilst we fall in love and as the entanglement of emotions begin to smooth out we can tell if the one we are with has the characteristics of a nurturer or a controller. Sometimes we think we know better than others so it may seem as if we want to control or someone wants to control us. But once it has been brought to our attention either way, these changes need to be taken care of.
With awareness in romantic relationships, it’s supposed to be two equals coming together to share their completeness. Being broken and using another to mend you isn’t the answer. But neither is the forming of the parent/child role in that relationship to maintain some order. Even a parent gives their child freedom at some point having given them the roots of guidelines and teachings, then the wings of liberty to let them make their own choices.
Naturally, them who cater to us will feel the authority to want to overall protect us. But this is only if we want them to. If we say to someone that we can do fine and we do not need that person may insist but still respect your verdict. They may think them * know better*. That’s not for them to decide.
You aren’t a puppet that needs their strings pulling. You are a human being who needs to have tender loving care given and if whoever you are with seems to go against a loving way to test that, think twice about whether it is about you or it’s them that has got it wrong. Control and protection are two completely distinct ballgames.
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