Vladimir Nabokov formulated a novel which consisted of a narrative of a thirty nine year old literary teacher – Humbert Humbert (who’d previously had a compulsion for young girls, referred to as Nymphets) which were young girls who’d he would find being sexually captivating. He had now become obsessed with his twelve year old step daughter- Dolores ‘Lolita ‘Hayes; Technically, he a paedophile and an innocent young girl. Yet, Reading the novel, it had become clear that this man wasn’t right in the mind. I mean, clearly this isn’t normal behaviour to feel this way about a young girl, young enough to be his daughter.
I believe his emotional psychology of the fact his relationship in his youth had made him this way. He loved a girl to a great extent then lost her. This planted an emotional disfigurement in his psyche which he encrusted with him through to adulthood.
He states in the novel that before their encounter to have sex that he “was not even her first lover”. This makes her out to be non angelic. In the film, I observed Lolita in her senses and was rather bewildered by her unrestricted, outright behaviour. H. Humbert in the end of the film goes back to visit Lolita, asking her to runaway with him and really does seem to ‘love’ her. She does refuse. In the end it is believed that she died at seventeen in childbirth, and he died of an illness before he was due to stand trial.
“Lolita is neither a saint nor a slut. Like everything else in the novel, she is a complex mixture – an uncrazy mixed-up kid”.
In Lana Del Rey’s song Lolita, Miss Del Rey was criticized for not understanding the novel and ‘”missing the point”. Lana does reference Lolita in a good few songs of hers. She illustrates Lolita as a coy and candid individual. I do admire Miss Del Rey’s original perception.
Is it possible, I question for a relationship like this to work? I feel it can easily cross the line. Victim or Vixen was she..?I in no way condone the behaviour of this man but thoughts began to run wild. I become immediately drawn into its complexity. My sensitivity towards the characters leaves me and probably many in a complete state of awe.
Here is a story about someone I knew.
“I had met my first love. When I was thirteen, I was a school girl; He was thirty six, married three children and my school teacher. I had written an autobiographical piece and till this day how I still observe it is that I was a naive young girl, blinded in love and lead by my emotions. He, unhappily married (as he didn’t marry for love). Instead of throwing off the little school girl who had ‘a crush’ on him. He encouraged me saying that he was a Muslim and he was allowed a second wife. When I turned thirteen, we had begun communicating via email and phone. A few times seeing each other briefly after school hours. The closest we had been is when he nearly kissed me. My aunt had found his emails, reported him to the school. He was asked to leave. We continued conversation. But I had lost feeling and cut contact completely. Never saw each other for ten years. He turned up with his family once in where I worked, We caught eye contact. We remembered each other.
As a teenager my confidence was sky high. I was forthright and very free spirited. I danced with ego. Also I won the class clown award twice.
I am still inspired by my younger self. She never seemed to care for anything. However, I do hold my responsibility to my actions after all; I was getting involved with married man. It is my belief that he… fell in love with me too. I felt I wasn’t forced I went along with how I felt towards him and that was that, neither did I tempt him and never was I sexually driven. Could a teenager have such power?
I have noticed similar characteristics in my Now self. I am still free spirited, same sense of humour and still pretty much forthright. My relationships to say the least sometimes reflect my first. The pattern had continued for years. I look at it as a spiritual encounter. Something in it made me grow up. Strangely, it still impresses me. I seem to have a level of understanding about love, people, marriage and character”.
Rashly, I just know: People cannot be placed in boxes of their ages when it comes to individuality. I’ve come to see though that mixed up human beings can sometimes be more than fictional.